Hi, my name is Stephanie and along with mental health struggles like Bipolar 1, neurological stuff like adhd, and autism I have an eating disorder. I have anorexia. I am struggling with eating disorders. Right now it is really bad!
I have struggled with my eating disorder for year and years. I restrict food, I over exercise and I make myself sick. I make myself believe I am not worthy of the food I eat. Or rather what little I can stomach.
I will make food and only be able to eat a few bites before feeling like a bloated hippo. I feel disgusted and gross. I also binge eat too as a result of never eating which makes me super tired and sick.
I would love to eat a meal with out these feelings. But, I look in the mirror I hate what I see. I see an overwhelming obese version of myself. Maybe one day I will be better. Right now? No.