A side of autism they don’t talk about.

There is a side of autism that they don’t talk about often on social media. People try to paint it as it is all sunshine and butterflies. Reality is having a child with autism or in my case 2 kids, is hard.

There is the side of getting the help you need. The programs. The lack of programs. Progression and regression. And then there is another side, aggression. Severe aggression.

My son, my oldest has an aggressive side. He acts out when told no. And honestly, he is non speaking so him sharing his anger comes out in different forms.

And other times it is at random, unfortunately my youngest gets the brunt of that abuse. This is why we need behavioral specialist and psychiatrists. Meds or no meds. At this point I don’t think meds are working. He hasn’t improved.

I told him not to hurt his brother, he strangles or pinches his face. Or pinches or bites his arms. And when I tried to discipline with a time out in and then loss of a toy he pinched and bit me. He slapped me across the face. He kicked me hard.

My arms are littered with bruises. My legs bruised. I’m hurt, physically and emotional. The pain goes deep. And I do not know what to do. Therapists say to redirect attention. Time outs. Things like that. But, none works.

He is such a sweet and loving child the rest of the time. He is fun and wants to play. But he gets these moments when he just goes into aggressive I don’t know what.

My arm

I love my sons, so much both of them. I wish I knew how to help him more and what I could do. This is the side of being a special needs parent not often talked about. Because we also get a lot of “spank him!” Or “call 911!!!” Yes because that will go over well. And I do not want my kid having a complex as he gets older.

My arm

It also becomes a problem when schools, even special schools for autistic children can not handle him. They are not trained or specialized to take on a case of aggression and physical aggression. So, I homeschool.

I try to put myself in his shoes but come up clueless. So clueless. And it makes me feel like a shitty parent.

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