The dresses that didn’t fit

I am so disappointed right now. The dresses didn’t fit. The new dresses I just bought do not fit or at least one doesn’t . You can only imagine what that done to my self esteem. It has knocked it right into the trash bin.

I tried different bras I tried different methods. Even had help for my Teuta Matoshi dress. But alas, the dress wouldn’t zip. My husband jokingly said it was my boobs. And honestly I want a reduction.

I already hate my body. Hate hate hate it. And this dress nonsense has not helped me with loving it. I see so many women on social media say how much they love theirs and I am over here like loathing it. Which as someone who is an “influencer” of some sorts it is hard to convey happiness when you aren’t at the moment.

So what happened, to get me dressed and makeup on? My boys saw my obsessing with my body and crying. I didn’t want them to see me get too upset and show them an unhealthy relationship with myself. So I put makeup on and got out the photo background to shoot this non fitting dress which I will alter. I can alter so this should be ok soon.

 

This dress was one I was hopeful for really, and honestly the other pieces too. And it is hard not to fall into old eating disorder patterns. I am really trying hard here not to. The struggle is so real. But know I am trying really hard.

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