Mental health and bed rest

You guys, I finished this beauty! But, I think I need to fix one thing on the back. I want to change the buttons for a zipper. This dress only took one day to make and another to alter, which went quickly once I got my new dress form. I will link to it on the bottom of the post.

I was inspired by the Minnie ears celebrating the anniversary of Disneyland or World…or something like that. I saw the fabric in Joann fabrics and was like perfect!!!

The dress itself is quite basic. A princess cut top with a ruffled strap and the bottom gathered and just one big rectangle of fabric.I had about 4 to 5 yards of fabric and it is sheer fabric. So the top was reinforced with muslin fabric in both black and white cotton. I used cotton thread and the shimmery fabric is stretchy. A machine was no used because my machine for whatever reason hates this type.

This was another covid project. Being in quarantine and sick was boring.I found myself going crazy with a mind racing and a body that wasn’t. I normally can not sit still unless I am in a down period of bipolar. ok wait that isn’t true either because sometimes my mind races so much I can not move or feel paralyzed with why bother. My trichotillomania was not easy to manage. It sucks pulling out my hair so much. On top of loosing it from meds. I think I have lost so much I have clogged the tub.

Which is pretty damn depressing and stresses me out. I keep telling myself I am doing the best I can but my brain doesn’t always agree. Oh and the body dysmorphia? That is heightened, because I feel not good enough to wear things. I feel my body is gross and too bad to wear what I want. Then then mind switches gears and wonders if I should be dressing this way, the way I want. How do most people dress? How do people actually dress? I shouldn’t care, honestly. But after what 2 years of being in home and rarely out of it, I don’t know what normal is. I only converse with my kids, the in home therapist , my spouse, and my only friend. I tend to chase people off with my level of crazy. My bipolar disorder is hard to take in. My adhd too. My autism makes it hard to make new friends.

Family? Yeah I have that but what is the point of trying when people do not want to be involved with you. I don’t fit into their puzzles, my family doesn’t fit with their vibes. So I feel pushed out, discarded.

Being sick and trying to recover, has just made me realize my own limitations. For now,at least.

Do you struggle too?

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